Money equals Free Speech; Corporations are people

Last Thursday (Jan 21st), the Supreme Court decided that money equals free speech and corporations are people. Those who believe this is a free speech victory are living in fantasyland. Quoting from Justice Steven’s dissent, “While American democracy is imperfect,” he wrote, “few outside the majority of this court would have thought its flaws included a dearth of corporate money in politics.”  Now we’ll have government of the corporations, by the corporations, for the corporations…

This has sent me in search of a silver lining. Look on the bright side…

• No more campaign fundraising calls at dinnertime… politicians will be able to get all the money they need from corporations. Cool!
• For judicial elections, corporations can spend all they want to buy, I mean, elect judges who will vote in their favor, freeing us from having to worry about that niggling issue of impartiality.
• The need of actually going to the trouble of voting will be unnecessary, since the outcome will be a foregone conclusion.
• Since corporate America will have unfettered funds to defeat Wall Street reforms, Congress can remove this time-consuming issue from its agenda – and most every other issue as well.
• And look! Government will be more efficient, since power now has shifted entirely from Capital Hill to K Street. Saves on heat!
• And, the Court has put to rest once and for all that slanderous myth that corporate money buys political favors. Nonsense!
• Best of all, corporate advertising will be so much more diverse and entertaining – no longer will they be limited to flogging their products; now they can flog politicians too! Can’t wait for the Super Bowl!

This is a victory for the “Strict Constructionists” on the Court.   Finally, the Court has affirmed the Free Speech rights of corporations … wait, wait, give me a minute, I’ll find the word “corporation” somewhere in the constitution… hold on… just give me a minute… hmmm.
Constitutional amendment anyone?