Merry (not yet ready to declare war on) Christmas

Sad News and Glad News

First, Joan’s mother, Florence Parrella, died in June after a very long illness.   She had suffered, spending the better part of fifteen years in bed and a wheelchair.  We will hold onto memories of her making cookies and Italian meatballs with her grandchildren.  She was a patient, loving grandmother. She would have been ninety this month.

Then, in early October, my father, Ernest Schlieben, died.  He departed as he had lived his 96 years, on his own terms.  In late August, after an operation to repair a perforated ulcer, he came down with pneumonia and, knowing the end was near, insisted on being home.  We arranged for hospice care.  He voluntarily stopped eating and drinking and, remarkably, survived 26 days.  My brother Dan and I spent the entire time with him in Ewing, NJ (I made two short visits home) and brothers George and Brooks, who lived nearby, relieved us almost daily.  The month of September gave the four of us a chance to spend time together as adults (that doesn’t happen often these days) and it was time well spent.  I like to think that that was part of Ernie’s plan; that and teaching us that, like living, dying can be faced fearlessly.  Characteristically, right up to the end he was reminding us to empty the dehumidifier in the basement, and, oh yes, don’t forget there are quarters in a bowl in the kitchen.

In between these two events, on August 17^th, our granddaughter, Madeleine Paige Schlieben, was born to Roy and Jenn in Bangkok.  Of course, without prejudice, I can say that she is the most beautiful grandchild ever.  Jenn and Roy (mostly Jenn) have been amazingly good at posting blogs and photos of Maddie’s first four months.  We look forward to seeing her in person when Jenn, Roy and Maddie arrive home on December 16^th.  They will be home for three weeks.  I was able to share photos and a short video with Ernie before he died.  It might have been the last time he was able to smile; “Life goes on…” he whispered.

More glad tidings:  I am delighted to report that Jess and Brendan Haley will be married on July 14^th.  We had an engagement party here in June at which time I was tempted to call Judge Runyon down the street to come by and save us a bundle by marrying them on the spot!   (Like all good thoughts, this one occurred to me about six hours after the party was over.) Brendan’s Design/Build business is going very well and Jess will finish up her Masters thesis in May at BAC.  Hooray!

This year marks the fifth year of our retirement.  We had hoped to travel more this year but events forced us to postpone travel until this coming spring.  We did manage a long weekend in Cooperstown in April, but that was about it.

Joan and I are well, although it would be disingenuous to imply that Joan’s Parkinson’s hasn’t made her life difficult.  She goes to Ti Chi for Balance once a week and to a monthly support group, and she takes long walks almost daily, so she gets high marks for soldiering on.  She does not recommend it, though.

We have been taking care of Suki, Jenn and Roy’s dog, since May.  The heat and humidity of Bangkok weren’t Suki’s thing and she is much more at home hunting chipmunks at Camp New Hampshire.  We managed to keep a tradition alive by vacationing at Silver Bay again this year.  We have gone to Silver Bay every year since Roy was a year old, so it has much the feel of home away from home.

Well, that about does it for another year.  We wish you all a very Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas 2010

Joan Leaps Tall Buildings- Joan flew in SchliebenAir to Charleston, SC in April.  This is a monumental event.  Given her former aversion to flying in anything resembling a glorified aluminum cigar tube, this was the equivalent of a deep space adventure packed in a sardine can.  That Joan did not deposit predigested unpleasantness on the control panel is even more remarkable.  We stopped in Cape May the first night and stayed at the ‘Southern Mansion.’  This inn I highly recommend.  On the other hand, the ‘Pilot House’ restaurant avoid like the plague, or maybe dysentery.  Worst food on the planet!   Probably the universe.  Mrs. Paul’s Fishsticks would win, hands down.  The next day we flew to Charleston, rented a car and spent three nights there and then three nights in Savanna.  Both are wonderful tourist cities – easily traversed on foot and friendly – and, with Savanna’s beautiful squares every three blocks or so and its streets lined with magnificent live oaks and magnolias, one could almost imagine living there (except summers.)  (Savanna’s economy got a big boost with the publication of John Berendt’s book ‘Midnight In the Garden of Good and Evil,’ in the mid-90s.)  We also had the best fish dinners we’ve ever had – and I mean the best ever – in the Chart House along the Savanna River.  Its décor? standard issue Georgian country club, but the food was fantastic.  During our return flight, we stopped in Chapel Hill, NC to visit friends, and stopped again in Trenton for an overnight with Dad, then home.  All together we overcame Joan’s worst fears.  The weather cooperated and we didn’t run into anything more unforgiving than – splat! – bugs.   Who knows?  We might even do it again, someday.  Bangkok, in one-hour increments.

Our Summer Vacation (When your retired, sounds doubly redundant)-

We spent a delightful two weeks at Silver Bay, NY in July.  Roy, Jenn, Jess and Brendan were with us the first week.  Grandfather Ernie and his friend Margie spent three nights there at the end of the first week, overlapping their stay with his grandchildren.  A highlight was an cruise down Lake George on the Silver Spray.

Jess: Interior Designer Extraordinaire / Studentessa Perpetua- Jess is working at one of the few Boston firms that hired staff during this recession.  Lucky her!  Since all design work these days is computer-based, she says she lives in her computer, or at least spends most of her day there.  In the spring, Jess will complete her fifth year at Boston Architectural College and next year (yes, just one more year!) she will complete her master’s thesis.  Ask her about wayfinding and site-lines… she’ll regale you for hours!  Brendan Haley, Jess’s significant other (should that be in caps?) runs a design/build business (BHaley Designs) and has been busy designing and renovating restaurant and condo interiors.  If you want to start a restaurant in the Boston area, call Brendan!

Roy and Jenn Keeping Their Heads Down in Bangkok- In Thailand now for over two years, Jenn continues as Assistant Chief of Station at AECOM, an international development consulting firm, and Roy has been saving tigers (well, not single-handedly) as a communications officer at Freeland Foundation, whose mission is to prevent wildlife and human trafficking.  Life in Bangkok got a little tense this spring during the Red Shirt uprising.  When the barricades went up on their street, they relocated to a hotel away from the action but, fortunately, it didn’t last too long.   Life is less chaotic now.  Oh yes, they’ve adopted another dog, Hop-along-Cassidy (Cassie for short.)  Cousin Ken would have named her ‘Tripod’, but he missed out on that one.  They now have two dogs and a cat.   They expect to be in Bangkok through 2012.

Acadia- Each year Joan and I spend four or five days in Maine’s Acadia National Park, hiking, recovering from hiking, eating with abandon, drinking in moderation—all, timed around Joan’s birthday.  Yes, Joan is a year older again.

Our Life In General- Other than the foregoing, Joan and I spend an inordinate amount of time just staying healthy.  I walk and work in the yard; Joan walks and attends a weekly Tai Chi class.  It’s amazing how much time and energy is consumed just moving one’s body … that, and reading the paper and all of life’s daily chores, like opening and closing the refrigerator door… good, nothing’s escaped.

Joan has always been an avid reader and enjoys a variety of subjects and genres.  She continues to be Paul’s book filter; sorting books worth his time from books to be sold back to the bookstore for pennies on the dollar.  She’s also been known to watch an occasional episode of ‘House’ and ‘Desperate Housewives,’ “the best program on TV,” she says—“sad commentary,” Paul says.

In addition to writing the occasional short story, essay and poem, Paul enjoys being able to think and write about the books he reads, and he posts his writing on a blog he calls ‘Synaptia:  The Random Firings of a “Maturing” Mind.’  (Paul notes that he shares an enthusiasm for Barbara Kingsolver with his sister-in-law, Barbara Reed.)  Additionally, flying for Angel Flight, household chores (indoors and out,) cooking, eating and imbibing (red wine, an organic health-food high in omega-3) fill out his busy week.

So, there you have it.  While our hopes for peace and national sanity have taking a hit this year and our imperfect union made more so by the Supreme Court’s disastrous “Citizens United vs. FEC” decision, we remain inexplicably optimistic.

Best wishes for a joyous holiday with friends and family. 

Paul and Joan

paul.schlieben@gmail.com

joan.schlieben@gmail.com

synaptia.blogspot.com/

Merry Christmas 2009

As Fridays tick by like the beat of a metronome – click, it’s Friday! Click, it’s Friday again? – you know you’re getting older.  How do you slow down the click of the metronome?  Sometimes I’m not even sure what day it is… “Fat paper, hum, must be Sunday” hardly works any more.  Any suggestions?

Quote of the year:

Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi, labeled Goldman Sachs “a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money."  That sums up 2009 quite nicely, don’t you think?

Now, news closer to home… like Bangkok

Jenn, on temporary assignment to Bangkok last year, got a promotion that requires that she remain for 2-3 years.  So, in February, Roy and Jenn gave up their apartment in Arlington along with Roy’s job at Search for Common Ground and moved to Bangkok.  After helping Roy pack and move stuff to storage, he and I rented a car and drove across country with their dog, Suki.  Then Roy and Suki flew to Bangkok, via Tokyo.  (I worried more about the Dog’s hydration during the flight than I did Roy.)  Living in Bangkok and traveling in Thailand, with side trips to Manila, have been an adventure – they are fast becoming citizens of the world, even Suki.

In April, Joan and I went to Italy for a too-short, two-weeks vacation.  After visiting friends Sheila and Alan in London, we spent a few days in Rome and the rest of our time in Perugia, Umbria, 100-miles north of Rome.  Like many ancient Etruscan cities, Perugia sits atop a hill with spectacular 360-degree views.  We could take 5 escalators up through centuries of history, literally, from our hotel to the piazza, on the central plateau.  Of course, we walked… Much less touristy then Rome or Tuscany to the west, Umbria struck us as much friendlier – patient with our imperfect, halting Italian.  One waiter joked good-naturedly, “Lei parla un poco, poco l’italiano, si?”  (… a little, little Italian)  We laughed, “Si, parlo l’italiano molto male!”  (Yes … very badly!)  This was the linguistic high point of the trip; unlike our experiences in Rome and Florence, where natives switch to English as soon as they get sight of you.  (Must be our Land’s End wardrobe…)

Roy returned to NH at the end of June for a planned family vacation at Silver Bay.  Unfortunately, Jenn couldn’t make it – Suki got [extremely] ill and Jenn didn’t want to leave her.  (The good news is, Suki recovered and both Jenn and Roy will be here for Christmas.)

In mid-October, Joan and I spent a few days in the White Mountains hiking in early snow – what were we thinking! – and then ... Wow!  Roy made another 10-day trip home – to surprise Joan on her NNth birthday (I’ve lost count, but I never thought I’d be married to a 66 year old woman… ops!)  And, yes, she was surprised!  Jess and her highly-significant one, Brendan, came up from Boston for the celebration.

And, yes, our favorite daughter Jess is doing very well; three-fifths of the way through a 5-year program at Boston Architectural College and, in June, promoted to an interior design position at her company, Architectural Resources Cambridge (fortunately, they’ve been hiring while other firms are firing.)  Brendan headed out on his own this year as “Brendan Haley Design/Build” and, even in this difficult economy, he’s doing great, a testimony to his skill and business acumen. Anyway, we’re proud of both of them. 

Roy spent most of the year in Bangkok freelancing and doing volunteer work while searching for a job, which he landed this month at the Freeland Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to the prevention of wildlife trafficking.  He’ll be doing communications and grants writing.  (He says that Freeland will be featured in the next issue of National Geographic.)

My father, Ernie, is going strong in NJ at 94½, enjoying working in the yard and keeping up with world events – he loves CSPAN; “history in the making”, he says.  My response is, “So is grass growing…” Anyway, I’m helping him edit his energy book, which he drafted a few years ago and is now revising.  That will occupy most of his time during the winter months.  I fly down to visit once every few months.

OK, wrapping up… This year has been the best (Obama) and worst of times (the Party of “No”), calling for patience and active participation, in equal measure.  I won’t list the issues that occupy my thoughts, they’re probably the same that occupy yours, and I’m already out of room, because …

This was a lot more than I intended to write – and more than I can expect anyone to read. 

Or, maybe, sensibly, you just skipped ahead to these words…

Merry Christmas.  Happy New Year.  Stay well.

Love and Best Wishes,

Joan and Paul